Helicoptering — From involved Parenting to Overparenting

Helicoptering or a helicopter parent is usually a term associated with parents hovering overhead and taking over every aspect of their child’s life. In the absence of elders in the house, Helicoptering has become very common among nuclear families and working parents.

Parents are naturally protective towards their children right from childbirth. The first time I held my son, I felt responsible for his growth and success. I felt that it is my job to shield him from this bad world and keep him safe. Little did I know that I have only two hands and his potential for injury and mischief is limitless.

In our endeavor to look out for our child, we sometimes hold them back thus acting like an obstacle in their growth. In our world we tend to create perfect situations for our children to keep them secure and happy but in real world, children fall, fight, get hurt and learn from their mistakes and make their own way.

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Recently I attended my cousin’s wedding and met a couple of families with young kids. After observing children playing around, it was quite evident that helicoptering is a big issue and parents tend to hover overhead without releasing that it is hampering their child’s growth.

When I was young I used to be out playing almost every evening without my parents being around me. I use to only look for my parents when I was tired and I wanted someone to call me home 😉

How parenting changes to overparenting

The modern, urban mother is prone to taking it upon herself the onus of providing her child the best of everything, education, leisure, activities ,sports etc. This is a good aim but sometimes mother’s love gets excessive and this turns out to be a mad race to the finish.

There is so much information out there that parents tend to get confused and always want their child to be all-rounder. Over-parenting happens when parents do not let their child by themselves, gives child everything even before it is asked for. Many working parents have been in competitive environments. For them parenting is a job in which they need to excel so you would see tight schedules for everything, follow-ups and time table.

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Overparenting working against the concept of unstructured play thus limiting your child to grow and become more innovative.

Children become more dependent on parents for making small decisions and always tend to follow their parents without following their dreams or passion.

Effects of Helicoptering or Overparenting

• An overprotective is child is less mature and ability to think for oneself is quite less
• A child who is not allowed to face challenge will not be well developed and would have very less self-esteem especially in the face of adversity
• The fear of parents transmits into children, who begin to perceive danger in any new activity.
• An overprotected child is scared of taking responsibility and tends to run away from the situation
• Pampered child are unable to take criticism which is not good for growth
• Most over-protective children grow up as insensitive since they do not have the capability to care about others. Such kids have issues adjusting with others.
• Most over-protective children tend to grow up with rebellious attitude which could lead to bigger issues.

Few tips to become non-helicoptering

• If you feel that an activity will be great for your child, allow your child to figure it out. Don’t push him and expect him to obey you all the time
• Don’t get carried away by peer pressure, allow your child to grow
• Listen and communicate with your child.
• Don’t judge your child. Remember it has only been few years for him in this world and this is a learning phase. Making mistakes allows him to learn and grow his experience.
• Don’t expect your child to do the things right way. Let him make mistakes.
• Allow them to fall so can learn to get up and walk.
• Allow them to desire for things and make them earn it instead of simply handing over.

If you feel that you are heading towards helicoptering, this might be the time for you to change your parenting style. Allow your child to be free and limitless. There is so much they could learn if given a chance

Originally published at https://www.colossalumbrella.com on March 27, 2019.